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Founder of AboutHer and Host of The AboutHer Show
“It is never too late, and you are never too old to become better.”
Sangeeta Relan
In addition to her academic pursuits, she is a writer and editor, managing an e-magazine for women called AboutHer. Founded in January 2018, AboutHer is a women’s lifestyle site that covers style, culture, food, travel, relationships, stories, books, and podcasts.
About Her: The magazine features short stories, book reviews, and her reflections on women, their journeys, relationships, evolving roles, challenges, passions, and interests. Renowned for its large and deeply engaged readership, About Her invites visitors to come for the blog and stay for the comments.
The About Her Show: Sangeeta hosts a podcast, where she converses with women achievers to learn about their inspiring journeys, aimed at motivating and empowering other women.
Let’s Get Inspired
In Conversation with Sangeeta Relan
– Preeti Juneja
Q. In your blog “About Her,” there’s a section called Real Journeys, where you celebrate the resilient and determined women of the past, present, and future. Additionally, “The About Her Show” podcast features interactions with women achievers to inspire and motivate others.
There are many hidden gems whose stories need to be highlighted. How do you go about finding these untold stories and giving them a platform to shine?
I firmly believe that every woman has a story, whether she is known or not, and that each woman’s life offers valuable lessons for others. Our experiences may occur at different times and places, and sometimes take different forms, but we all navigate similar challenges. Therefore, it is important to learn from the experiences of others.
not to discuss personal matters publicly, advised against “washing our dirty linen in public.” As a result, many women feel isolated, uncertain if their experiences are unique or shared by others. This sense of loneliness and the need for connection inspired me to start my e-magazine about six and a half years ago. I began by writing short stories based on the lives of everyday women, aiming to create a space where women could see their own experiences reflected and know they are not alone.
In the first season of my podcast, I interviewed 51 women. Recently, I’ve also started talking to men because I believe that achieving a truly inclusive world requires allyship, where men and women work together. I choose my guests not based on their public recognition, although I do have some well-known guests, but those are rare. Instead, I focus on the untold stories of unsung heroes—people who are not in the public eye.
By giving them a platform to share their life journeys, achievements, and dreams, I aim to inspire my audience. These stories resonate with listeners, helping them find relatable experiences and insights that can enrich their own lives. This is the essence of my podcast.
Q. As an educationist in a university with a predominantly female workforce, do you think gender diversity is a real problem, or is it primarily an issue in power positions and boardrooms? What is your advice to women on dealing with microaggression?
It all starts from the bottom, from the moment boys and girls are born and the way we raise them. Boardrooms reflect the culmination of these early influences. From the very beginning, the way we raise our children shapes their future roles and behaviors. We tell boys not to cry because they aren’t girls and guide girls to make specific choices. Even the toys we give them—dolls for girls and mechanical toys or planes for boys—reinforce these differences. As children grow and advance to higher positions, these distinctions become more pronounced and continually reinforced.
It’s a real problem everywhere. As you mentioned, even in universities with a predominantly female workforce, these issues persist. For example, I prefer taking early morning classes to maximize my day. When my children were younger, I aimed to complete my work early so I could spend more time at home. I was never one to linger in the staff room engaging in idle gossip.
Men would often comment that women leave early to go home, implying they are less committed. This bias exists everywhere. Sometimes it’s overt, but often, women can sense when they are being unfairly targeted.
Firstly, I believe it’s important to address microaggressions when you encounter them because they’re often subtle and may stem from unconscious bias. Men, due to this bias, may not realize when they say or do something inappropriate. When I suggest calling out, I don’t mean engaging in conflict. Instead, you can gently hint at it or express your discomfort politely. For example, you can say, “I didn’t appreciate what you said. How would you feel if the situation were reversed?”
At work, we have informal support groups where we intervene if we notice a female student or a young colleague facing such issues. We offer them our support and let them know they’re not alone.
My advice is to address these situations smartly without being overly aggressive. Make your point clear and never let it slide because ignoring it can perpetuate the behavior.
Q. Is enough being done to promote mental well-being? What initiatives are you taking in this field?
There is a very positive development that people are becoming more aware and accepting of issues that need attention. However, it’s crucial to understand that addressing these issues requires ongoing commitment, not just a short-term effort. Initiatives must be sustained to bring about lasting change.
In particular, I want to emphasize the importance of focusing on women’s mental well-being, which I believe is not receiving the attention it deserves. Women face a myriad of challenges throughout various stages of life, such as during menstruation, premenopause, postmenopause, and pregnancy—experiences that men may struggle to comprehend. While discussions around this topic have begun, there’s still much more work to be done in this space. Recognizing and addressing these issues is important, and although progress has been made, there’s still a long way to go.
The book “Invisible Women” sheds light on the pervasive data bias in a world predominantly designed for men. This bias isn’t necessarily intentional; it often arises from the fact that the data collected reflects the male experience. Even women may unknowingly contribute to this bias by conforming to the same sample.
The book provides numerous examples illustrating this data bias, revealing how it permeates various aspects of society. Reading it, you’ll be surprised by the subtle nuances that are often overlooked. We consume statistics without considering how they were calculated, and “Invisible Women” unveils the methods behind these numbers.
In my podcast’s second season, I have a question that I pose to both male and female guests. I inquire about their thoughts on mental well-being as a topic, with a specific focus on the mental well-being of women. I believe that open discussions and increased acceptance are crucial steps towards addressing this issue effectively.
b) Out of the many things you do, as an educator, writer, counselor, podcaster, which role do you enjoy the most, and why? How do you balance your time among them all?
I do all the things that I obviously enjoy. When I am doing one particular thing like say for instance I’m teaching I’m not thinking about anything else I’m just focused there. I have to organize, I have to plan my day, and I have to prioritize. If I have ten things to do in a day, I have to see what is more important, so going to work is the first thing I do every day. When that’s over, I come back and take up something else.
Balancing these activities isn’t just about managing time; it’s about seamlessly integrating them into my life. Whether it’s work, socializing, or spending time with family, I strive to harmonize everything. Each day, I compile a list of tasks, typically around nine, and work through them diligently. Yet, I understand that some days, despite my best efforts, certain tasks may remain unfinished. In such cases, I accept it without being too hard on myself.
Q. As someone involved in teaching, mentoring, and counseling students, you’re familiar with the stress, tension, and anxiety that undergrad children experience today. What are some insights that parents might not be aware of regarding their children?
I recently came across an article by Chetan Bhagat discussing the under-educated youth of India. He highlighted a situation where students were protesting without fully understanding the cause, and he seemed to place blame on their lack of knowledge or information. However, having worked in education for over 30 years, I feel compelled to offer a different perspective.
Firstly, we must understand that the path a student takes is heavily influenced by society. No child is inherently disinterested in learning or exploring. It is the societal norms and expectations that often limit their potential. We impose rigid structures, dictating which courses to take, which grades to achieve, and which schools or colleges to attend, thereby constraining their thinking.
Furthermore, parents, especially those with sons, tend to shield their children from hardship, providing every possible comfort. However, this sheltering prevents them from understanding the realities of the world. We need to expose them to challenges and difficulties to foster resilience and a broader perspective.
It’s not a machine. You press the button and then you want the result.
Does your child want that result? Is your child capable of giving that result?
Somehow, parents are not spending as much time with their children as they should, particularly due to distractions like smartphones. It’s not just kids who become addicted; adults are also addicted. Essentially, this is what we’re teaching them. As I always emphasize, children learn not only what you teach them, but they also learn from what they imbibe, what they observe.
As a society, as parents and educators, I think we all need to spend time with children. If we don’t spend time, we will make them literate for sure, but can’t educate them.
Sangeeta Relan
There’s an abundance of information available, but we need to consider the immense pressure it puts on children. Often, discussions revolve around children who feel lost. They might say, “We chose this course because our grades allowed it, but nobody asked if we were actually interested.” Then comes the expectation to excel. Parents can be overly critical, saying things like, “I provided you with everything, and now you’re not meeting my expectations. Why do you expect your children to pay you back? This isn’t parenting; it’s comparison and judgment. Every child is unique, and not all are equally gifted. Maybe the issue lies with the chosen course, not the child.
“Kids today seem confident, they are not confident. It’s just a facade. If you scratch beneath the surface you will find there’s nothing.”
How often do we hear parents reminiscing about their own upbringing, comparing it to their children’s experiences? Countless times. I’ve had numerous conversations with parents, urging them to recognize the fundamental differences in upbringing between generations. It’s like comparing apples to oranges. Your children are growing up in a different era, facing unique challenges and opportunities. If you feel your children are causing you grief, let’s consider talking to your parents and hear what they have to say about your upbringing.
Rapid-Fire:
- What keeps you motivated?
Oh! the love that I have for all the things that I do.
2.One advice to undergrad students?
Know what you want! Be very clear about it and have the patience to see it through.
3.Any women’s networking community you recommend?
It’s obviously the ‘AboutHer’ community
4.Leaders are born or made?
It’s a bit of both. You do have certain qualities – being able to take people with you, comes naturally to certain people. You learn certain things over a period of time – you can’t always force people to do things. To be more like a transformational leadership where you have to have the patience to be able to explain and take everyone with you. A leader must have the drive and determination to lead, alongside compassion, patience, and the ability to understand and connect with others.
One-Liners:
1.One life story that should be authored or filmed: Mohanjit Grewal
2.My favorite book is: Invisible Women
3.I love writing about: Women and everything related to them.
4.I aspire to become: Someone who can make a great social impact in terms of what is being done for women. When I talk about feminism I am not saying that we are anti-men, we are not. We just want to happily co-exist. So I want to make an impact in that space.
About Author
Sangeeta Relan
Educationist at Acharya Narendra Dev College, University of Delhi, where she is deeply engaged in teaching, mentoring, and guiding undergraduate students. With over 30 years of teaching experience, she specializes in Finance, Management, Economics, Insurance, and Corporate Governance. Currently, pursuing a PhD in Corporate Governance and Gender Diversity at the Delhi School of Economics.
22nd May 2024
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