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Radhika is the only Indian to have won the prestigious Gotham Award in New York for the fish-out-of-water comedy web series Shugs & Fats. Vaz was also named one of the twenty-five New Faces of Independent Film by Filmmaker Magazine.
Radhika Vaz is a stand-up comedian and writer. She has been described as the Indian Wanda Sykes (Huffington Post), and accused of being effortlessly funny (Times of India), and
Breaking Gender Barriers (Daily Beast).
She is the only Indian to have won the prestigious Gotham Award in New York as co-creator and writer for the fish-out-of-water comedy web series Shugs & Fats, about two Hijabi women who live in Brooklyn. Vaz was also named one of the twenty-five New Faces of Independent Film by Filmmaker Magazine.
Unladylike, A Memoir is a collection of comedic essays that explore the writers childhood, adolescence and early adulthood and all the attendant wonder (was her mother crazy or psychic), excitement (the coming of her first period), and confusion (to birth or not to birth a child of her own). Published by Aleph, the book has sold over 10,000 copies and can be found in book stores and on Amazon.
Unladylike and Older, Angrier, Hairier were both hour-long comedy specials performed to live audiences in New Yok, LA, Singapore, London, Dubai and across India. Both shows explore the pressure women are under to conform to society’s pre-ordained image of the ‘good woman’ and the subsequent pitfalls of said conformity.
In addition to a long running bi-monthly column with the Times of India that focused on current news, Vaz has written essays for many other publications including The Washington Post, Grazia, Verve, GQ, and Architectural Digest.
In Conversation with Radhika Vaz – Preeti Juneja
Q. How do you come up with amazing content?
Every writer has a different process. For me, I gravitate towards relationships of any kind. I find relationships very fascinating, and when I typically think about relationships, I get a lot of inspiration for what is funny from there.
I read this long ago and have it cut out and kept wherever I work. It’s just a little piece of paper or a cue card which says, ‘Look for the truth. Don’t look for what’s funny.’ When I try to make something funny, it usually falls flat, but when I look at what is true, I’m able to find what’s funny about that. I like to dig into my experiences with people, places, situations, and anything and try to go from there.
I am making content that’s funny. I’m a comedian, but I’m also digging deep into myself. My life has shown me that the more I live a lighter life, the better.
Q. Do you avoid any topics, words, or names of people in your comedy, and if so, why?
Different people have different lines or yardsticks by which they measure what they consider offensive or not offensive. I believe I should be able to take anything from my personal life because it’s my truth and my story. And I should be able to have fun with it. There’s a fine line between laughing at somebody’s expense and laughing at a situation. Where is it funny, or am I making fun of someone? That’s the difference.
If I make a specific story about my experience with my mother-in-law and how she and I interacted in a particular situation. Some may say I’m making fun of the mother-in-law, but I’m actually making fun of the experience I’ve had with her, and it’s a unique experience. It’s not something anyone else can write about except me.
I typically list all the things that have happened and then go from there, and you’ll notice that I don’t talk a lot about politics. I don’t talk about news. I won’t comment on those types, as I’m not a commentating comedian.
Q. How do you deal with a joke that doesn’t land well with the audience?
I can’t deal with it. There’s nothing to do. Being a comedian is risky. Every time you go on stage, you don’t know. Sometimes, it’s not that the audience isn’t getting it but feels uncomfortable. There’s a difference!
On Sunday’s show, I got an audience that resonated or understood where I came from. I talked about addiction and listen, addiction is not funny, it’s really rough. But I was able to make it funny by talking about my experience with it – and the audience got it not because they are all addicts but because they understood some of the struggle. They don’t have to literally have my experience to relate. It’s like – look maybe they are not addicted to gambling or alcohol or whatever, maybe they really, really, really like sugar – so they make up the same rules! I will only eat cake on Thursdays. And I won’t eat it for the rest of the week. And then on Friday. It’s the same thing – I eat the cake.
But all to say I don’t mind if a joke doesn’t land. It’s okay. Worse things can happen than a joke not landing!
Q. Do you think humour is a great place to talk about gender mainstreaming to bring change in perceptions, especially among boys?
On changing perception – that I never know, I can only hope I am. When I listen to someone funny talking about something serious but manage to make it into hilarious content, I give that idea a thought.
There’s a great movie on Netflix called ‘Prom’. It’s basically about this young girl who’s gay and who isn’t allowed to go to the prom because she comes from this very conservative place where only boys and girls can go. Through music, fun and drama, they’ve made the message of letting people be whoever they are.
I think many of us in this business sometimes use our platforms almost unintentionally, but we end up using our platforms in a way that might help someone. I talk so much about the roles women are expected to embrace and enjoy – like motherhood. Why? Surely not all of us need to be mothers. Or marriage. Why! Who cares. Be single. Get divorced, if it aint working leave! Let people be.
Q. Is it ‘unladylike’ to fall in love and follow your lover across continents to be with him?
The title of the book ‘Unladylike’ is from my show ‘Unladylike’.
We have expectations of women – being ladylike is a compliment. We have these expectations of how a woman should be and how a lady should be. And for me, I’ve always felt like I’ve not been a natural in those expectations. I’ve not naturally been able to uphold those lady-like values. So my first show is very much about all of that.
When the publishing company came to me to do the book, they really liked the idea of using the same name. Each and every story is not necessarily about being un-ladylike; it is about saying we don’t have to do things the way we’ve been told.
It’s okay to be un-ladylike. Following a boyfriend to America is arguable, but is it ladylike? A lot of people said that that wasn’t the right thing to do. And what they mean by it is good girls don’t do that. They get a proposal. But here I’m going, running off without any promise. So, in that situation, yes, you’re right. I didn’t do the ladylike thing, but it’s okay.
Q. What did you find most challenging while writing a memoir?
The closer something was to be historically, the harder it was to write about. The most challenging were the stories that were closer to my age; the idea of not having children and the idea of getting married was a little more challenging to tell.
This book came out in 2016. It took me about a year and a half from start to finish. The stories that were very close to 40 were harder to write. It was very easy to write my childhood stories. It was very easy to look back and distance.
Q. Which moment from your book do you cherish the most?
There were two things that I enjoyed writing about. I find a new group of friends and porn.
When my parents moved to Bangalore and I left boarding school, which I didn’t want to leave, I had to leave. The school didn’t allow me to return for my 11th and 12th. It was a very traumatic moment because I had grown up in that school. And now I had to come to this new city, big city, Bangalore, and make friends and re-establish myself all over again. I was quite lonely at that time but what made it very easy was this group of girlfriends—those few years we spent together.
That chapter, I think I was like a little love letter to these girls. So, that was a very important piece for me. And then, Hello, America.
That whole segment was important because it was a big learning curve for me as a human being. I was going to a foreign country, having no money, getting a scholarship—everything I had to do on my own. The first couple of years over there, I had to survive on very little money because I was just a teaching assistant. I was highly motivated to do it; it made me a very independent person and gave me faith in myself. I grew up.
Whenever I’ve gone through very hard times, I have to remind myself of a few instances where I have proved to myself that I’m not a total loss.
These are the two phases of my life. The 15, 16, and 17-year period. And then this late 20s when I moved to the US. I am glad I got to write about these two very important parts of my life.
Q. “Breaking gender barriers” is something you have been associated with. Why is that?
I think it’s because I have short hair and look like a cute dude (laughs). I have got used to be called ‘sir. We want women to confirm to some very specific physical standards and I haven’t been able to. But that apart I think it’s behavior too – and what I say on stage – that can often be ‘unladylike’. We have got used to letting men say and do anything but when women join in it’s a problem.
I am proud to be associated with breaking any barriers – if any woman decided she was going to say or do something because she saw me do it I am honored. That’s the biggest compliment I could get.
Q. In your book, you mentioned wanting to have fame. Now, here you are!! A famous and accomplished artist and author. Do you have a bucket list? What’s the next project you are working on?
I’ll be very honest with you; I used to be more like that five or six years ago, pre-pandemic. But during the pandemic, everyone’s lives were turned on their heads. I had to take a step back because I had been travelling and trying to do everything on my bucket list. When the pandemic hit, I said, okay, this is my opportunity to stop everything and just to reconfigure and see what I want to really… how I want to do this. I did take a very big step back. I did not perform for a very long time.
In terms of projects, I’m looking at building an online presence because even though I had a lot of success as a stand-up comedian, I never had an online presence. So, my bucket list is to get online and interact with people online, people who like your comedy and people who are like-minded. And continue writing new material so that I can keep performing. And then we’ll see what happens at the end of 2024.
I have a lot of dogs. I have one dog that lives in my flat, and then we have six dogs that we care for at a farm. Two are proper rescues because one was abandoned, and one was an older dog with a very bad tumour. She was lying on the side of the road when we managed to get her and keep her. And she’s alive and happy, and everything is good. My whole passion is trying to help street dogs and rescue, inoculation, and vaccination. So it is a new thing in my life, but it is a very precious thing.
I don’t want to make too many big plans just because of literally the pandemic.
Q. If you were given an opportunity to perform comedy in a hospital, an old-age home, or a Jail, which one would you choose and why?
Oh, it’s such a great question. Such a hard choice to make.An old age home to me is very touching. Touching as my parents are older, and I relate so well to older people. I love that idea. In a hospital, people are so stressed out. Sometimes, they’re so despondent, and they may have such bad news that they could use a laugh. So, of course. And then, jail is so interesting. They’re confined. And at least for a while, they wander in their minds. And for a while, they’re treated like humans, like normal people. And for that moment in time, you get to interact with them as human beings, and they get to interact with you as human beings. Wow! You know I might pick the jail. I might pick the jail. It’s a very hard choice, but if I had a gun to my head, I might pick the jail.
Rapid-Fire:
- Who are your comedic influences? Lily Tomlin, Whoopi Goldberg and Joan Rivers.
- Why is it so important to speak your mind? It’s physically unhealthy not to.
- Is the ‘funny’ tag a burden? Never. It’s a compliment.
- Which is your hot topic that has given you heights of success? Relationships.
One-Liners:
- Radhika is most versatile when: She’s on stage.
- Unladylike is a must-read because: It’s funny.
- Being cool means: Being tolerant.
- Women should open up about: Everything.
About Author
Radhika Vaz
Radhika was born and raised in the Indian Air Force. She graduated in Advertising Communications from Syracuse University and has worked with world-class brands, like Taj Group of Hotels, Wunderman, and Y&R in India and New York. Her love for headstands is only matched by her love for dogs. Her guilty pleasure is reality TV.
20th December 2023
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